No patient I know has a consistent level of functionality. Every one of us has symptoms that require care and attention to mitigate their effects on our lives. You can go months – years! – with the same symptom pattern, which can allow for the development of a routine. Routines are boring, but they are also a relief. You act in a certain way that doesn’t cross your symptom(s), and it acts as expected.
Until it doesn’t.
Eventually, there will be a flare-up. If you’re lucky, it’s only one symptom at a time. And there are different levels of inconvenience, ranging from nuisance to debilitating. Hopefully, the parties in your life who could make it more difficult when you are incapacitated, have been informed that it could happen. If they haven’t been informed because you are afraid of retaliation, consider consulting the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (if it’s your employer). They have a hotline. If it is another party, there are resources to help, such as state commissions on civil rights.
But I digress.
Sometimes you just don’t want to “give in” to your symptoms. An event is important enough or you are annoyed enough that you just want to suck it up and try. Because if you accommodated your symptoms every time they flared, you literally wouldn’t have a life.
My two most inconvenient symptoms are low blood sugar and nausea.
For low blood sugar, there are some hard and fast rules, primarily that if I am under a certain number, there is absolutely no driving allowed. But most other things can be accomplished – getting ready, working, cleaning (one of the clues to a low blood sugar for me is a compulsive need to clean my apartment) -- especially if I have treated the low and am waiting for my numbers to go up.
But there are also times when I just need to sit and wait or make time to conk out after recovery. Blood sugar issues are draining.
The nausea is more complicated. There is no way, no number, to indicate how bad it will be. And there are a lot of triggers, like lack of sleep, brushing my teeth, certain kinds of weather, things that happen all the time. Sometimes it just sits with me, and dissipates given enough time, or maybe an assist from water and saltines.
Sometimes, I make it worse, which leads to exactly what you think (sorry for the allusion, but I suspect I am not the only one who has to deal with this particular symptom on a regular basis). I decided a long time ago that, when I get that kind of sick, I have to let it go and continue with what I was doing. It takes maybe 10 minutes and then it’s over, so a good rinse with mouthwash and a splash of cold water on my face -- maybe a shower if I get too sweaty -- and on I go, a little worse for wear, but you will never know and I am doing what I want to do.
We all have these little tricks and workarounds. It’s how we survive. As told by character Jimmy McGinty (Gene Hackman) in the 2000 movie The Replacements, it’s like a duck on the pond. On the surface, everything looks calm, but beneath the water those little feet are churning a mile a minute.
And like that duck, we don’t really have a choice but to keep churning. It’s our patient nature.