Election Day
I was hiding in my shower earlier today. Before I voted. (I wait until Election Day because my polling place is in my building, and it tickles my funny bone to go in my pajamas.)
I’m happy I voted in this historic election, and I will make sure I write 2024 on my sticker before I put it away with other mementos.
I try not to pay attention to the news at all. I know nothing will be worth knowing until results start pouring in. Fielding calls from half a dozen friends and relatives all day helps.
A few hours in, I have a pit in my stomach. I was so sure the blue wall of Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin would hold, but it doesn’t look good. I really don’t want a president who says he wants to protect me whether I want him to or not. The skeeviness factor of that statement coming out of the mouth of a convicted sex offender, even if it was in civil court, has broken the scale. I don’t want a Secretary of Health and Human Services who swallowed vaccine misinformation hook, line, and sinker, and wants us all to get cavities by removing fluoride from our tap water.
I’m fairly sure I won’t sleep tonight, but I’m wrong about that, too. I zonked out around 1:30.
24 hours later
I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to turn on the TV. I do want to bury my face in memory foam and eat comfort food all day. I don’t actually know what happened, but I suspect.
But my friend is coming to pick me up so I can go look at a car. My transmission isn’t worth fixing because my Accord is almost 21 years old with just under 250,000 miles on it. I sure got my money’s worth.
It’s going to hurt to replace my constant companion, but I am effectively stranded without wheels. My chronic nausea means severe motion sickness every time I take a ride share. I find myself having to carry around pregnant lady solutions like crackers and water literally every time I get into someone else’s car. Plus, the expense, of course. It’s $100 round trip every time I need to go into DC.
As it happens, shopping for my second largest purchase (after my condo) is a great distraction if it takes a whole day and the dealer has to wait for confirmation of my loan from the bank and the Motor Vehicle Administration’s computer goes down so I can’t get temporary or permanent plates. Finally, after about five hours, they lent me their dealer plates, lol. It’s a kind of extraordinary measure to make sure I get my car that day and avoid having to come back in the next few days. It wasn’t a short drive up here, so I appreciated it.
By the time I get home, I have enough energy to tell those who need to know that I am mobile again, have dinner, and fall into bed without processing that Donald Trump is going to be our president again.
24 hours after that
I slept a long time, but I woke up exhausted. Resigned. With a buzzy high blood sugar that I can tell comes from stress since I haven’t had anything to eat in almost 20 hours.
I have to accept that a majority of voters are ok with a president who has stated that he wants to hurt people, both in the abstract and specifically. Or didn’t care enough about that to actually vote. I am afraid it is going to change how I see people.
I still refuse to turn on the news.
The one time I tune into social media, I find an article that reminds me that nothing is over until it’s over and that the federal government is set up to move glacially slowly. The outcome isn’t what I wanted, but I am not powerless.
For those who hoped, we need to take some time to grieve. Then there is work to do.