Looking for Silly

I was never a big laugher-out-loud, no matter how many times I use the acronym in my texts. It’s not surprising since I spend most of my time on my own (even before the pandemic) and, according to the American Psychological Association, we laugh 30 times more often in social situations than we do when we are alone. We react to the reactions around us, and our laughter can last longer when we’re in a group, too. How often do you see a comedy with friends and find yourself giggling about a specific line or two for hours afterward?

Other than the occasional silliness from the kids in my life, who are sadly growing older and less prone to spontaneous laughter that is fun to share, I’m not sure I realized how long it had been since I really laughed. I’m not a fan of cringey comedy and today’s sitcoms just don’t measure up to the ones I grew up with, especially now that Black-ish is off the air. Even the ones I do end up liking generate more smiles than outright laughter, which is not enough to get to the releasing-endorphins stage.

Then one day not too long ago, I was bedtime-procrastination scrolling and came across an post listing 70 tweets about autocorrect fails. Even knowing at least some of them were likely to be manufactured to be funny, I still found myself laughing.

I mean, really laughing, from the belly. There were tears, and I couldn’t get my face back to normal.

I’m not sure why. Logically, I know the benefits of laughter, both physical and psychological, but I’ve never consciously experienced those benefits. It was odd to be sitting there laughing, and thinking about what that meant as it happened, and that oddness helped set me off again.

And I’ve read my fair share of things like that before, but I’ve never reacted quite that way. Finally, I came to the end of my list and started to get hold of myself. Sitting alone on my couch, way past my bedtime and dabbing at my eyes with a tissue, I felt ridiculous. But I also felt better. The constant hum of anxiety over starting a business wasn’t at the front of my emotions anymore and the tightness in my head had disappeared, too.

Shortly after that, I watched a movie I wouldn’t have normally. It was about a scientist who turns a superspy into a pigeon. As I said, not my usual fare, but I was looking for silly. Well, I found it.

I think I will continue to look.